This is about a Dan Brearley forwarded Calvin and Hobbes cartoon:

boy and imaginary tiger

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This is about a Jamie Wright [aka The Very Worst Missionary] tweet:

Not everyone likes you. (Get comfortable with that. Trust me, it’s liberating.)

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This is a little about this interaction:

b r o o s k o l i nCan I just say that I haven’t missed @facebook AT ALL since deleting my account. In fact, I’ve appreciated reality a whole lot more.

Brett FISH Anderson: @brskln @facebook dude the amount of coffee you drink and tweet about i’m not convinced of the realityness of the reality you are perceiving

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This is a lot about a reply to an offline challenge/caution i made to a friend of mine about some online stuff he’d done which he responded to with this huge long email explaining some stuff and disagreeing with a bunch of the stuff I’d said, although understanding where it came from, and ending his email with this:

‘Spose that’s all from my side. I do appreciate the kind words and support and honesty all bundled up in an awesome package of love.’

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This is a lot about two other interactions this week with two other friends in a similar vein, but that sadly ended much more negatively from their side, with the word ‘friendship’ not feeling strongly like a great term to describe us any more. From their side at least.

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This has strong lingering after effects from three encounters with three of my best guy friends in the world:

From Duncan Houston, who let me moan and whine and get aggro with him in hockey-related gripes on the field only to always make sure I was okay afterwards, and, that if there was any negative vibe left over between us, to chase me down and make sure we were good. Every time.

From my buddy Regan Didloff, who taught me on many powerful occasions the power in continuing to pursue friendships long after the other person had shut the door on your face and to extend way above and beyond what felt like a fair or even reasonable amount of grace and love and forgiveness on multiple occasions to the other person.

From my buddy Rob Lloyd, who, when I accidentally knocked a chip of wood out of his guitar [musicians, hold yourselves back!] responded to my, “Dude, you’e gonna kill me” with a “Dude, don’t worry, it’a a thing” laying the firm foundation for a strong friendship to take root and grow [and which instilled in me a very strong life theology of “People over things every time”] and flourish.

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And so, Friendship, in various shapes and degrees and forms. I have found Friendship to be such a powerful force in my life – encouragement and empowerment, strength and belief, hope and endurance and much, much more.

I have some incredible friends in my life, for whom I am most grateful. [Seriously, it would have to be big to get me to use the word ‘whom’ in a sentence, and now another one]

I realise that there have been many times when I have not gotten it right or come across with the “kind words and support and honesty all bundled up in an awesome package of love” that I would have intended or wanted from myself.

I realise that as much as there are a lot of people who love me an incredible lot, there are also those who have somehow gotten to the point of being able to say “dude seriously i hate you so so so so so so so much!!!!!” 

Something deep inside of me fears that Jamie may have gotten it right when she writes, Not everyone likes you. (Get comfortable with that. Trust me, it’s liberating.)

But the point I want to leave you with today is this one I feel quite strongly about. When things go badly in a relationship, always allow the other person to close the door on it. They must always know that from my side, no matter how much I have been hurt or made angry or disappointed or disillusioned, that there is always the opportunity for the friendship to be healed, for forgiveness to happen, for things to start again. My door is always open, should you choose to return.

Sure, if the hurt runs really deep it might not be likely that we will end up as best of friends any time soon [especially because that is becoming quite a crowded room] but there is always space for us to try again, and perhaps do it a little bit better than last time.

The absolute biggest example of this has to be Jesus. We will never know, but I honestly believe in my deepest of places, that if Judas has come to Jesus and repented, that he would have been forgiven. But he didn’t. He chose to bear his sin by himself and it killed him. Whereas Peter, on the other hand, who didn’t do anything less offensive than Judas really [one betrayed Jesus, one pretended he never knew Him] and yet he ends up back with Jesus and receives forgiveness and has his friendship restored, and not only that but receives the hugest mandate out of all the disciples to have the church built upon him. Jesus did not forgive and then keep him at arms length in case He got hurt again. Should I?

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And lastly, this is a lot about this:

boy and imaginary tiger

[This post i dedicate to my friends, who I love deeply, and who I have received so much love from. You are way too many to mention by name. But I am so grateful for each one of you.]

[To read next Wednesday’s Absurd in the Hand is worth two, click here]

[to read last Wednesdays Together vs Not Together, click here]

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Comments
  1. […] Wednesday = Wed day: Episode 8 – Make them shut the door. […]

  2. […] Wednesday saw an encouragement to not give up on your friends, even if they have walked away from yo… […]

  3. […] [for last Wednesday's Friendship post on Making them Shut the Door, click here] […]

  4. […] – there were two that were pretty close at the top here so i will include them both, namely the one on leaving the door open when a friendship has gone bad/difficult and then this more children/parent focused one, although it can apply to all relationships in […]

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