Posts Tagged ‘1 corinthians 13’

derekwebbDerek Webb is a musician who sings about issues of faith, life and love and i really enjoy his music [and his crazy personality] and recently invited a section of the public to get involved and help him create the music video for his latest song which is titled ‘I was wrong, I’m sorry & I love you’ and which you can listen to over here. 

It’s a great song. And Derek did tell me that when life calms down a little [although not sure that will ever happen for someone like him] he will write a guest blog post for me on those three phrases and I very much am looking forward to the possibility of that.

But for this week’s relationship post I wanted to simply mention them, draw your attention to them and ask you if those are phrases you use in your relationships?

Being married, that is specifically the relationship I think of first, but this can apply to any relationship you are in with people you care about.

Do you ever say “I was wrong”? This is so huge. SO SO HUGE. And so neglected. And so damaging when it is. I’m also not just talking about saying the word ‘Sorry’ because I think some people use that word as a ‘Get out of jail free’ card replacing any actual kind of acknowledgement and responsibility for the hurt they have caused. Ah, I said the word so all good. No, have you actually really repented and meant it? Are you truly sorry that you hurt this person? Are you going to choose to live life differently so you don’t end up doing it again in the same way? I just realised I dived straight into the second one but they are so completely intimately linked.

Do you acknowledge wrongdoing on your part? Do you follow that up with genuine repentance? “I’m sorry.”

And then more than just the words again, does your life after that point echo the sentiments behind the third phrase, “I love you”?

Because once more those three words can be so empty if they are not backed up by a life commitment. If you love me do it differently. Do it better. Or possibly much more importantly, if I love you then what do I need to do differently, better, so that you feel loved? So that you experience love. Not just the feeling of love, but the reality of being loved.

It is a 1 Corinthians 13 type love that says and means that ‘I was  wrong, I’m sorry and & love you.’

‘4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails.’

It’s a great song [been stuck in my head the last few days] so watch out for the video. And #cough the blog post, Derek #cough.

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I really liked this picture when I saw it on Facebook the other day as it really summed up a huge aspect of Love for me.

We grow up being fed the lie that love is a feeling, or that it relies exclusively on feelings. Once the feeling has gone then love is no more and it’s time to move on.

But fortunately, and especially (although maybe not exclusively) if we have an encounter with Jesus, we learn that Love is so much more than that. Love is a series of choices made regardless of feeling, that when made and lived out well, more often than not have the feeling along as well for the accompanying ride.

Holding the umbrella of love...ove...ove...

Caring for each other even when you’re angry. That is so powerful.

And in reality [especially, I think, in the reality of marriage, if you have that] it competes strongly against pride and needing to be right and getting some form of revenge [although you will never call it that and so you disguise it discreetly, or try to, as passive aggressive sulky woe-is-me behaviour, doors closed a little more harder than you would normally and well delivered sighs] and wanting to lash out and possibly a bunch of other viciously ugly things as well.

This cartoon reminds me of the last few words of 1 Corinthians 13, commonly known as the Love chapter, and at the end of a list of incredible choice-related aspects of Love, the writer finishes off with:

‘It [Love] always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.’ [verse 7]

That is this picture:

# Protecting: Looking out for your person even though you are angry

# Trusting: That the reason you are angry is because of something much less important than the fact that your person loves you.

# Hoping: That this too will pass, and hopefully fairly quickly, so you can hurry back to the feeling-accompanied part of Love.

# Persevering: Holding fast to the commitment you made to your person before God, family and friends. To really Love them well.

[for next Wednesday’s Your Relationship With You, click here]
[for last Wednesday’s Man In The Mirror, click here]